Intentional Days

Tonight as I lay here in bed, I'm I am displeased with myself

You know those days when you lay in bed and think about everything you did and didn't do? I mean, I could be mistaken but I think most of us do that about every night. Tonight I lay here to think about that and am ashamed of how I spent my day. It was a great day off- full of laughter, haircut, shopping and Starbucks. Had a really good time.

So I've been slightly down lately about a lot of stuff. Definitely a dry time in my quiet times and just with my relationship with God. I just feel like I've had to really work towards including God in my daily life. Actually, I don't even know if it's that. Just something different is going on. I think it's fair to call it a dry season of my life.

Some issues with friends/struggling with still not having any friends here, really, really confused with what I should be doing right now and what my purpose is for this time in my life. You know when you're down and you just want people to lift you back up? Today was a day that I was somewhat lifted up again. And it made me feel great! 

It was refreshing and just so nice to have the day off just to do whatever I wanted.  But now looking back, my day was spent selfishly and all in vain. I spent no time reading my bible and spent more time looking at my hair than than with God. 

I feel like in this time in my life God is teaching me to be satisfied in Him in every way. Therefor not needing my friends to make me feel better about myself. Not needing a hair it to make myself feel good. God is teaching me to only find joy in Him. Not in success. And most importantly to make sure I'm not settling for a less close relationship wih Him. 

So though it was a fun day, I am humbled to think that I get a chance to start again tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow will be more of a selfless, intentional day of actually growing in my relationship with The Lord and less about my hair.